Monday, December 11, 2006

Whatever happened to that old man with a silly costume

Contrary to the rumors that he was shot in the belief that he was a burglar ("akyat bahay"), or hypothermia had frozen him in his hometown (GPS: 90° latitude N), there could be another explanation why children will no longer be receiving gifts from Santa Claus.
Given the testimony of the five year old eye witness who would be called by the name of Jackson, police investigations lead toward homicide.

The testimony: (warning, the following lines may contain adult content.)

"Wow! mommy's kissing santa claus!
I saw mommy kissing santa claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Then I saw mommy tickle santa claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
If daddy had only seen

It seems that daddy had seen, and it was not a 'laugh it would have been'. As for the mommy, police reports are too violent to be written in this blog.

Sorry kids, I'm not a Santa Claus (or Christmas) fan either. It seems that you won't be getting imported Chinese mass produced self destructing brittle plastic toys this year, and for the years to come. I could only advise you to grow up and face the reality of the world's amazing crime rate.

Anyway, for those who are expecting it, since you have gone this far with this libelous article, allow me to greet you in the most artificial commercialized manner I could achieve:

Merry Christmas!

--Thanatos reporting


ayetteski said...

and santa's little elves will turn their revenge on daddy... =p

(anyway, i finally found your blog)


Thanatos said...

Satan's little elves?